Saturday, December 24, 2005

The Twelve Days of Christmas 2005

On the first day of Christmas my pastor gave to me—
A generous orthodoxy.

On the second day of Christmas my pastor gave to me—
Jesus and God B
And a generous orthodoxy

On the third day of Christmas my pastor gave to me—
Three reasons Jesus wouldn’t be a Christian
Jesus and God B
And a generous orthodoxy

On the fourth day of Christmas my pastor gave to me—
Four discomforts with Jesus as personal savior
Three reasons Jesus wouldn’t be a Christian
Jesus and God B
And a generous orthodoxy

On the fifth day of Christmas my pastor gave to me—
FIVE NEW T.U.L.I.P. POINTS!
Four discomforts with Jesus as personal savior
Three reasons Jesus wouldn’t be a Christian
Jesus and God B
And a generous orthodoxy

On the sixth day of Christmas my pastor gave to me—
Six concentric tree-rings
FIVE NEW T.U.L.I.P. POINTS!
Four discomforts with Jesus as personal savior
Three reasons Jesus wouldn’t be a Christian
Jesus and God B
And a generous orthodoxy

On the seventh day of Christmas my pastor gave to me—
Seven Christs that he’s known
Six concentric tree-rings
FIVE NEW T.U.L.I.P. POINTS!
Four discomforts with Jesus as personal savior
Three reasons Jesus wouldn’t be a Christian
Jesus and God B
And a generous orthodoxy

On the eighth day of Christmas my pastor gave to me—
Eight or so modernistic-looking charts and diagrams
Seven Christs that he’s known
Six concentric tree-rings
FIVE NEW T.U.L.I.P. POINTS!
Four discomforts with Jesus as personal savior
Three reasons Jesus wouldn’t be a Christian
Jesus and God B
And a generous orthodoxy

On the ninth day of Christmas my pastor gave to me—
Nine things he means by “incarnational”
Eight or so modernistic-looking charts and diagrams
Seven Christs that he’s knownSix concentric tree-rings
FIVE NEW T.U.L.I.P. POINTS!
Four discomforts with Jesus as personal savior
Three reasons Jesus wouldn’t be a Christian
Jesus and God B
And a generous orthodoxy

On the tenth day of Christmas my pastor gave to me—
Ten cool things about Anabaptists and Anglicans
Nine things he means by “incarnational”
Eight or so modernistic-looking charts and diagrams
Seven Christs that he’s known
Six concentric tree-rings
FIVE NEW T.U.L.I.P. POINTS!
Four discomforts with Jesus as personal savior
Three reasons Jesus wouldn’t be a Christian
Jesus and God B
And a generous orthodoxy

On the eleventh day of Christmas my pastor gave to me—
Eleven reasons for taking prozac
Ten cool things about Anabaptists and Anglicans
Nine things he means by “incarnational”
Eight or so modernistic-looking charts and diagrams
Seven Christs that he’s known
Six concentric tree-rings
FIVE NEW T.U.L.I.P. POINTS!
Four discomforts with Jesus as personal savior
Three reasons Jesus wouldn’t be a Christian
Jesus and God B
And a generous orthodoxy

On the twelfth day of Christmas my pastor gave to me—
Twelve-and-a-half pages explaining how he could be both liberal and conservative
Eleven reasons for taking prozac
Ten cool things about Anabaptists and Anglicans
Nine things he means by “incarnational”
Eight or so modernistic-looking charts and diagrams
Seven Christs that he’s known
Six concentric tree-rings
FIVE NEW T.U.L.I.P. POINTS!
Four discomforts with Jesus as personal savior
Three reasons Jesus wouldn’t be a Christian
Jesus and God B
And a ge-ner-o-us orthodoxy!

8 comments:

Billy Shears said...

Is there an instrumental version of this I can use for karaoke?

Wayne Hatcher said...

Interesting. I tried to sing along with this and it just doesn't roll off the tongue. Maybe I should try the rap version

Bishop James Pike said...

Gee, I guess I didn't realize that if you're too generous with your orthodoxy you'll eventually run out of it!

Jeremy Felden said...

My hat is off to you, sir. It is always good to answer absurdity with absurdity.

Lorna said...

too funny!

-mike- said...

Wow. That was amazing.

Deborah said...

Wowsers! Amazing!
You left a link to this on my blog last year, and for some silly reason I never noticed it until now. Thanks for sharing!

Charlotte Welcher said...

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present. ~Babatunde Olatunji